Recording a Voicemail greeting is hard!

Phone - needs to now how to set up voicemail
client is at home
Accessing Voicemail from an External Phone 
Client received instructions in his email:
From an external phone call: 1800voicemail
Anytime during the greeting dial #
Dial the 10 digit extension of the voicemail you wish to check followed by # when prompted
Dial your passcode followed by # (default is 123456)


client wants to change the greeting
had him listen to the voicemail options for greeting options
he is unable to, he keeps talking over me and the voicemail instructions
I called the voicemail number and I can hear the instructions just fine
immediately it asks to set up voicemail 
it says hit star to record a greeting and # to skip
told client to hit star when it says to record the greeting 
client still doesn't understand how to record a greeting
explained to him several times
he called the voicemail while he was on the phone to me but he was talking over the instructions
he asked me to record his greeting, due to security I can not 
advised to hang up with me and carefully listen to the instructions

And everything was going so well

Finishing up on a ticket that I have to send to local to get equipment switched out.

Me: ok, I just need your phone number and your location.
Client: 555-5555, and I'm in the Derp Building.
Me: Great!  What floor in the Derp Building?
Client: um.... I'm not sure.
Me:  Well, that building has over 57 floors.  So the tech can find you I need to know where you are.
Client: I don't know.
Me: When you get in the elevator in the morning, what floor number do you press?
Client: I'm not sure, I'm on autopilot when I come in.
Me: Can you ask a co-worker?
Client: No, that's embarrassing.
Me: Well, I have to know so I can put in the ticket.
Client: Hold on.
*put on hold for 5 minutes*
Client: Ok, I went to the elevator, went down to the bottom, then remembered what button I hit!

Tech Support

i believe it was user error....

how did this guy get a sys admin job???

This guy must have had a fantastic resume because he was dumb as hell.

Background -
We use a web based tool to administrator some exchange accounts and this guy seen me using it one day. The next day he sent the following to the windows admins he works with.

"I am curious about what the group thinks about going to a web based AD structure?  The reason I am suggesting this is because it could allow a single control for LDAP and AD as well as allowing us the versatility to publish specific portions to the banks for their individual use that are more robust then the current options.    It would also allow us to encrypt the AD for security purposes, beyond what is done currently.  Thoughs?"

This guy was eventually busted down to helpdesk were even there he failed... I am guessing he now works at a fast food place.

its sad how true this is

Maybe we should make sure everything is on?

 Background.  Level 1 tech support for a major company.  I only get calls from employees.

Ticket Details:
Programs will not load
client is online and on the network
client said she restarted the computer twice already
permission to remote into the computer (At this point I believe the client because they work for a fortune 500 company and they need to know how to work a computer to get the job)

when I got on all applications were up and running on the second monitor

client turned on her external monitor

working

Situation 1:

Tech: (Assisting with installation process over the phone)

Customer: (reading  dialogue on screen)

Customer: Press any key to continue? I don't see an any key on my keyboard.

Tech: Facepalm

Situation 2:

Tech: Right click and you will see ______ on the menu that pops up.

Customer: I did that but nothing popped up.

(5 minutes of trying to figure out wtf this guys is doing)

Customer: Oh I though you were saying write click.  I was hitting C-L-I-C-K on my keyboard.

Tech: Facepalm

my assess, not complete

i would imagine non-completed assess are a bad thing......

Waggle the keys and stuff

 
Customer: It froze, and I turns it off, and I turns it back on, and it just sit there, black screen an' all!

Tech: Shut it down, no good. told him to jiggle the plugs and waggle the keys and stuff, and then take it to someone who knows what they're doing.

Those pesky right fingers

Tech: OK, now if you could please right click the mouse the window will open

Client: it won't open. it just doesn't work

Tech: Make sure you are only clicking the right button on the mouse

Client: Oh, I am sorry, My right finger was on the left mouse button

Tech: ......

"nevermind" code for: i didn't try it first myself

Its sad how true this is, at least try it before you call or submit a ticket, PLEASE?!?!?

HELP! my fan belt revs!

We better get that fan belt fixed right away!